# dec 1 2015 

i am overwhelmed lately by how abundant my life is.

# nov 12 2015

parenting is hard. i find it difficult to simultaneously "support your
kid" and "shape your kid," since those activities are typically at odds
with one another. you want them to be able to talk to you about what's
happening in their life, and when they start to tell you your natural
reaction is horror, mixed with memory, which only amplifies the horror a
friend this morning reminds me that humans have been doing this for a
long, long time and yet every time we do this, it's new for us.

kids these days.

so after a rough parenting morning, where i end up acting in a way that
i don't admire, and saying things that are probably the right things but
also the wrong things, i spend the commute making jokes on twitter.
looking for solace amongst "friends," finding  validation in the stars

# aug 27 2015

two notes:

1. hot take: instagram abandoning the square is / isn't anything like 
   twitter going > 140.

2. i'm learning something about myself, which is that ambiguity 
   doesn't make me uncomfortable, information asymmetry makes me 
   uncomfortable. this is good to know, thus reducing my own internal 
   information asymmetry.

# aug 25 2015

the new yorker thing on teens really has me worried. i mean, we're
pretty good parents, and we do our best to be substitute executive
functions for our children, but jesus i remember the feeling of being a
teenager and it was fucking amazing, and i'd do anything for the
approval of my friends. and it's terrifying to be pushed out of the loop
and *replaced* like that. "approval from my parents? shrug."

in unrelated news, i sort of miss blogging.


dipped gently into the rabbit hole of tinyletter tonight, thinking
"maybe this, again," but no. and it's for a stupid reason, which is that
they make the finished product that's sent to the inbox look like
*something that's been published.* the wonderful thing about what used
to happen with majordomo powered lists is that you'd send an email, and
the email would just send -- as it was. in text. what tinyletter is
doing is taking the email you send, and then piping it through their
thing that makes everything look all 'professional,' like they need to
compete with medium or something. they don't. they should just send the
damn email along to your subscribers. no web form, no wrapping things in
html. just send the email.

so there's this, which i'm pretty sure no one even looks at anymore;
would be smart to put a robots.txt around this just to keep it away from
the googlebot, which sure is not-even-security through obscurity, but at
least you have to be deliberately looking for this to even find it. ev
was right in his "if we can remove the audience, then we can help remove
the friction" point about the pressure of writing, but i'm not sure how
you do that in a networked product. so yes, this is, by definition, a
networked product (being on the INTERNET), but without being truly
jacked into the network that is social.

# mar 30 2015

i put the phone on the shelf, turned the camera on, poured myself a
drink and watched 93 people show up. i felt stupid, and contagious.

# feb 10 2015

speaking of ratatouille. this weekend i cooked a dinner for six; the two
of us, and four good friends, sitting around the table, eating a dish
that i had prepared earlier in the day and then put in the oven for 30
minutes while we enjoyed cocktails. it was absolutely delicious; one of
the best things i've ever made.

one of my perennial new year's resolutions is to cook 50 meals for
family and/or friends, which is intended to produce a weekly habit of
not just throwing together what's in the fridge, but being deliberate
about *making* something. i've done well so far this year, but it was
saturday night's meal that reminded me why i really do love to cook.

it's because i'm pretty damn good at following directions.

my middle-schooler likes to remind me that cooking is really just
chemistry (smarty pants), which means that following a recipe is
essentially just iterating over the steps that prove a particular
person's hypothesis. "combine these ingredients in this order, with this
amount of heat and motion, over this amount of time and what comes out
will be delicious." this weekend, it was ina garner's hypothesis for a
coquille st. jacques; the recipe of which i found in the nytimes sunday
magazine not so long ago. (we don't really have winter out here, but
this is a great winter dish.)

of course, cooking a dish like that also has the delicious outcome,
even with its basic steps and not terribly long ingredient list. i wish
there were more recipe-based proofs of scientific hypotheses that were
as much fun as cooking -- simple programming & making things online
sometimes gives me *a* sense of satisfaction (of completing a task,
of exercising my head, of finding some sort of state of flow), but it's
not as visceral as eating coquille st. jacques. i think i'd have to get
*much* better at building tech to reach that state. much much better.

oh, and thanks to eric case for the recommendation of the app paprika,
which is a wonderful recipe manager and shopping list creator. super
simple on the surface, but deep underneath. two thumbs up.

# jan 04 2015

ratatouille is a great way to start the new year. because in a new year,
"anyone can cook."

# dec 15 2014

having coffee with carl this morning. yes, that carl.

# nov 30 2014


- roasted one pork shoulder, for shredding and tacos
- baked one loaf of banana bread, because we had a few
  bananas that were starting to turn
- baked one apple pie because we had run out of pie
- tossed one green salad

not bad. oh, and that's not including the brekfast (eggs, bacon) i made
for the kids. lucky kids.

# nov 29 2014

it's good to have friends with whom you've been through hell (and at
least part of the way back), who have seen you at your worst (and maybe
at your best), who will spend part of their weekend talking over long
distances, and smiling through a tiny camera at a face thousands of
miles away. and it's good that even after all the time, things pick up
right where they were and keep moving forward.

happy thanksgiving.

# nov 18 2014

humans be human.

# nov 15 2014

been too long. i understand that there's been some ebb and flow in the
tilde, which you can see in the recently updated and in the volume of
activity in the newsgroups. but that's ok. it's mid november, just a
week or so away from thanksgiving break, and then december, and things
get nuts at the end of the year. so now, work.

at home tonight, cleaning out some small bits of the house, and came
across a pile of CDs and CD-ROMs. some of them are full of photos
(archived from the long lost ofoto / kodak picture share thing), and
from friends. some of them are burned CDs of mixes for the kids'
birthdays. some of them are just music CDs. and a bunch were old
software installers.

all this media, and we basically have no way to play them. i mean, i'm
sure we could play the CDs in the car, and i think my daughter has a CD
player in her room. but there isn't one hooked up to the stereo, the
blu-ray player is so finicky it spits out anything we put in it, and
there's not a single mac in the house with a cd / dvd slot. 

(the blu-ray player is so bad that the other night we were trying to
play a copy of harry potter 7 part 2, and the machine was choking on it,
and it wasn't worth fighting with anymore so we just fired up appletv
and bought a copy there for $9.99. buying digital copies from apple is
like future proofing somehow...leaving aside, of course, that
troublesome issue of lock-in and DRM la la la.)

happy saturday night, everyone. this has been me unblocking my tilde.
all hail the scroll.

# oct 29 2014

so i've been thinking a lot about the question i asked myself almost a
week ago (read below), and i think i have a simple two-part answer.

1. this is what i do. it's what i've done for almost 20 years, and
   there's really no reason why it should stop now. that's not to 
   say there aren't other things to do, but when it comes to words
   and the web, this (reverse chron words in a stream) is what i do.

2. it's all about the scroll. i keep coming back to this bit from anil
   in his post about blogging forever:

	"The scroll is your friend. If you write a bad post 
	 or something you don't like, just post again. If you 
	 write something great that you're really proud of and
	 nobody notices, just post again. One foot in front of
	 the other, one word after another, is the only path 
	 I've found to an overall body of work that I'm proud 
	 of. Push posts down the page, and the good and the bad
	 will just scroll away."

this is me putting one foot in front of the other. also, i may be having
a mid-life crisis.

# oct 23 2014

so here's the thing. we get this crazy new / old toy in tilde (thank you
paul), with this great thing called public_html, and literally the
*first* thing i do with it is *blog*.

why is that? no, seriously. *why is that*?

# oct 21 2014

took the 5 bus out mcallister this afternoon from downtown (to meet a
stranger for an economic transaction, nothing illicit) and now i'm
sitting in a cafe on divisadero street that never would have had a
chance in hell of surviving when i lived in this neighborhood in the
early 1990s. concrete floors and wood chairs marble cafe tables and a
long communal table full of laptops and people making it happen on their
own tethered cellular wifi because "no wifi" is the new "free wifi." and
the barista did the thing where he poured just a *little* bit of milk
into the espresso and warmed up the cup before pouring the rest of the
contents of the steamer. because this is a Latte with a capital L, $4
before tax, we take square. 

in 1991 three blocks from here trina had a brick thrown through her car
window while she was stopped at an intersection. the driver's side
window. the safety glass did its job, but the whole thing shattered when
she closed her car door after stopping at the neighborhood police
station. the cop behind the counter said "ma'am, you have no business
driving through this neighborhood."

# oct 17 2014

new filtered at stating the obvious.

the friday habit thing with a bit of structure (ten items, make the
whole thing a five minute read or under) has really helped unclench the
writing muscle. and it feels good. moar wordz.

# oct 16 2014

#teamriley. heart aches for ken and his family. 

# oct 14 2014

i made a web page for the giants.


# oct 13 2014

quick trip to seattle. recommendations!

- canlis, but only for a drink and the view. we didn't eat dinner, but
  the bar menu was meh. 
- the whale wins for dinner. we showed up with 5 minutes left to order,
  and got a half chicken and the cote de boeuf and holy shit both of them
  were amazing. highly recommended. 
- the music video exhibit at the EMP. the nirvana and jimi hendrix
  things were kind of ok, but the history of the video thing was fun.
- the space needle. i love architecture that only exists to have people
  go up high. the eiffel tower, the st. louis arch, the needle... go at
  night and get a beer up top.
- ma'ono fried chicken and whisky. didn't drink the whisky, but did eat
  a bunch of their fried chicken. and their biscuits and gravy. 
  perfect lunch.
- olympic sculpture garden. the serras are good, of course. but the 
  roxy paine and the jaume plensa are really good.
- totokaelo. didn't buy anything (too rich and too thin) but impressive
  for its strong point of view. there was only one pair of brown shoes
  in the whole place.
- elliott bay book company. paper!

# oct 9 2014

paul's piece on medium has me feeling all warm inside.

but it also has me thinking about history and the directionality of time
and how you can't go back.  because we are here in this little
fixed-width font nerdvana, doing our things with wall and who and finger
and pine and vim and editing index.html by hand (like i'm doing right
now!) with the full knowledge of what else is out there.  which means
that of course when we put up a server and a bunch of web pages the
first thing someone does is create a "last updated" feed (with json!),
and when pages start linking to each other there is a network
visualization of it, and there's public documenation about how the
(wonderful, glorious) sysadmins are doing their work, and there are
thoughts of packaging this whole thing up and interconnecting them
across the web.

the joke yesterday about "hey sippey, add permalinks" and meg's response
of "we're not there in the timeline yet!" is so spot on... we are having
this fun in full knowledge of the fact that we *had* this fun before,
and then everything that came after it. i'm not arguing against
nostalgia, not at all. it's just that the last 20 years have wired our
minds to know what Social Software is, and that knowledge was initially
informed by these tools we're using now, and yet (of course) have
evolved. which makes our use of them now rich with...something.

lt the end of season three of lost, jack yells at kate "we have to go
back!" and even though he's clearly losing it, he says it with such
conviction, with this insane combination of hope and fear. of course,
what we don't really know at that point in the show is that they do
actually "go back" (in time) which...oh, never mind.

anyway. time travel, bitches. it's a whole thing.

# oct 8 2014

talking with my 13 y/o daughter about tilde the other night, and trying
to explain how all of the sites / apps / services she uses today have
these ancestors / precdents in the tools that are here: who, talk,
finger, irc, etc. she was intrigued, but of course instantly was
like "but yeah, all text? what about the pics?"

and of course when you have pics / vid you have more bandwidth /
resource needs which leads to needing more $, which leads to where that
money will come from, which leads to yeah that. so yeah - would love to
plot consumer bandwidth adoption with market cap of "the internet" and
argue about correlation / causation. there was a step function in
"internet" when dsl happened and households had "always on" connections
to the internet, instead of having to tie up their phone line and make a
dialup call. and then there was another step function in "internet" when
the combination of real broadband and wifi happened, because laptops in
the kitchen and bedroom and living room meant youtube and porn. and then
there's another step function in "internet" with 4G and LTE to your
handset which means instagram and snapchat and youtube clips wherever
you want them.

so yeah, photos and videos and the cost structures of making this
happen. and economies of scale in hosting and serving, and so the
natural trend towards centrality in services instead of a bazillion
linux hosts running who and finger and talk and irc, etc.

# oct 5 2014

~goldman is going through archaeology, and dug up the rex pda that he
used to use. i had one of those as well -- it was essentially a pcmcia
card (there will be many billions of people who never know what those
are, thank god) with an lcd display and these little buttons that you
had to mash with your fingernails. you'd slip it in your shirt pocket
and i think i ruined mine by having it go through the wash. i need to
put together a month / year timeline of all the mobile devices / pdas
that i owned / used; off the top of my head it would include these:

* the aforementioned rex pcmcia thing
* an HP clamshell thing that had a stylus and some kind of stylus-
  enabled touch screen, as well as a keyboard. the whole screen
  flipped around on its side.
* a clamshell psion, complete with a modem
* the original u.s. robotics palm pilot
* palm III
* palm IV
* palm V
* the "sled" that was the wireless modem for the palm V
* a clear plastic handspring
* a treo phone with the keyboard
* a couple of different danger hiptops
* a microsoft windows phone made by phillips maybe? with a keyboard
* a microsoft windows phone sold by t-mobile that looked like a 
  blackberry -- i think that was the one that i was using when 
  twiter launched and got all the tweets via text message
* then iphones (1, 3, 3gs, 4, 5, 5s)
* oh, shit, do ipods count?

jesus so much $$ burned on those things.

# oct 4 2014, later

this is like magic. just a box with some people on it. it's not a
product, it's a place. it requires a litle work to unlock its magic, but
not too much work. i don't think this is *just* nostalgia that's making
me feel so good about this (i mean, that's part of it), but it is
a reminder that tools that drive towards centralization and scale
make it harder to create a shared sense of place. 

# oct 4 2014

just setting up my tilde.